To the editor:
I'm sure by now anyone who has been paying even a modicum of attention to recent city happenings is scratching their head wondering how a document which may appear at first glance to list the Mayor's signature actually "does not" according to our Honorable Mayor. This is quite a conundrum to say the least. We just may possibly have the single most talented forger in generations in our midst. We cannot allow such a misdeed to go unpunished, which is why I wholeheartedly support Councilman Carioscia's commitment to track down and prosecute whoever has wronged our Mayor. It's refreshing to see our council members actually defending each other in the eyes of the public. A show of unity from the dais is sorely needed now more than ever to show the culprit who committed this heinous act that he/she will be pursued, apprehended, and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
I mean, what other possible explanation can there be? We must take the Mayor at his word that he did not sign the document in question. After all, he stated that the signature affixed to the document in question wasn't his.right? Knowing the intelligence of our Mayor, he would never even remotely contemplate making such a statement.right? So, the hunt begins in earnest. We as a community need to track down this virtuoso of the pen to make sure he/she doesn't get the opportunity to further damage our fine community's reputation. Lord knows we've had enough of that the past few years. Who knows, this master replicator of signatories may just sign a city check next, and leave our community coffers destitute as he/she slips away over the horizon. Oh yes, it must be made a priority to hunt this heathen down to prevent such a scenario from possibly unfolding.
I wish Councilman Carioscia all the best in his investigation; it's nice to see him defend the honor of our Mayor on such a serious and possibly explosive issue. I know he will get to the bottom of the situation with the help of law enforcement, and I as a citizen will sleep easier knowing this perpetrator of possible forgery is off the streets when he/she is apprehended. I know in my heart that Councilmember Leetz will be at the ready to assist Councilmember Carioscia in any way he can while the pursuit of this hoodlum is taking place. Yes, it does give me a warm fuzzy to finally see this unity on the dais; I'm just sorry it had to come to this for it to happen. Godspeed Councilman, I wish you success in your quest to bring this doer of dirty deeds to justice.